emotion

Adolescent

I have been in love,
Not once, not twice, but numerous times,
Not for her, or her, or her, but with almost everyone,
No! I am not a pervert. No,
I am just a nature guy.
I love anything and everything that leaves me wandering.
Yes, I am a guy,
Yes, I am not a grown up,
But no! When I say I am in love,
I don’t mean absurdity.
When I say I love her,
I love the way she talk,
Or the way she looks at me,
Or the way her  hairs are when she dances,
Or the way she looks when she is in tears,
I love her for countless different reasons,
And no, I am not ready to be taken,
Yes,  I live in a constant fear of anxiety,
I choke myself completely in fear of unknown and unheard,
I fear unaccustomed to your noises,
I feel guilty of being near.

Mistakes & memories

I feel my memory
And sometimes it reminds me of when I was happy,
Days when bright sun lit my little world,
Away from this web I have weaved,
As sick as I’m today, I am bound to be.
I made certain decisions that I must take blame of,
The dirt that is crazy,drags me.
I feel her sound,
Little noises she made,
Irritating as it was back then,
I miss it today. Maybe we are to blame
For what we do, and take that blame with us for our rage.
Perhaps I may wake up tomorrow,
In someplace I am not aware of
And in that place,
calm as I could be or even fatal-
Who knows?
I feel my nerves and they are screaming,
Wake up from the grave, wake up!
And even though I am stunned,
I realise how far I left it behind;
A heart that bled,
A face that wept,
And a life that I lived.
And now that I am gone,
I miss being alive.
P.s. don’t say a word.

Confession

I can break windows with this strength,
That my aimless love pushes me too far,
In wilderness of confession,
I fear I would lose someone,
Over my obsession,
And as I keep waiting for the moment,
That ship that I wished to sail,
Took off the shore, humbly!
And there are those winds,
That that don’t get certain things,
Now that the ship is gone,
I’ll sit tight in regret, waiting for another,
To knock on my door.

Who would remember me?

Looking at him sitting by the corner,

Pale as a ghost, deeply disappointed,

I approached to him from humanity,

To justify brotherhood I asked finally.

“My dear friend do you care to share,

This dully ill way that you are here?

Don’t think you should seek for happiness

and try to forget that unhealthy past?”

“I fear of being remembered at all

for what I am is just a name.

A name, few letters and a given code,

What else besides forms my shape?

I have searched through their words of wisdom,

and in there, there is but no hope.

They seem to only remember the winner,

No one seem to care for a heart.

Many constitute this place who tried,

Sought to live their own flavours.

This world it bows to them,

But, must you see, only survivors!

For today I am disappointed of my dull life,

And for that I would like to wear a new hat,

There are plenty of them in the street,

But I am afraid, if there is one for me?

My friend my cause of worry is justified

As I care to do something magnificent.

My only concern, that of much importance,

Who will remember me if I fail at all?

For all they talk about is life,

Only one to serve mankind,

I, though in this one, seek to take a chance,

What chances must I live at all?

They teach me to have faith,

Have a heart with optimistic aim,

I, for a moment, took that into account,

Aren’t they trying to fool me around?

Who would care to remember my name,

Would you, dear friend narrate my tales?

I fear of being remembered at all

If I live only enough long to have it all wrong.”

-insanets

author’s note.

This may be contradicting in terms of beliefs to some. To those as such, I would declare these are just spontaneous words I wrote. If you want to believe, these words are worthy, else just oblivious.